i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
