We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
