I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
