lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
