Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
