The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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