i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
