dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
