all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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