:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
