we're blogging at a bar
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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