Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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