Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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