ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
