he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
