All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
