I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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