I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
