wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
