WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
