Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize