We named our party play list daddy issues
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
