either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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