I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
