i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If its not for food we ain't going out.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
