he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
