This dress was meant to end up on your floor
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Randomize
