Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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