I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
