You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
