Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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