i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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