Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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