In the future we'll all be gay
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
