Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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