Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
