the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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