Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
