The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
