Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It's official drugs can't kill me
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I have already put on my inside pants.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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