Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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