I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
