Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
