She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize