I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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