The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
