omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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