We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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