You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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