you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
