i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
