no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
