My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
