It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize