btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize