just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
