Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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