So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize