Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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