I accidentally had phone sex last night
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
