Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
