I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
honey bunches of taint.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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