I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It's shark week go big or go home
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
