I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
