yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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